DEAR ABBY: My sister lately misplaced her husband, who gave up the ghost then a temporary struggle with most cancers. Her daughter, my niece, used to be scheduled to be married after this age. They attempt with budget, and my brother-in-law’s dying exacerbated the status. To bring to support out, my spouse and I quietly gave them $1,000 to position towards my niece’s bathe so they may have it at a pleasant park. My sister used to be appreciative, however we sadly heard not anything from my niece.
Rapid-forward a pair months, and the marriage is now referred to as off. My sister and her daughter lately went on a cruise and feature advised me they’ve booked every other. There was disagree point out about returning our $1,000. My spouse is turning into increasingly more annoyed and desires to mention one thing to my sister, which can manufacture a crowd feud. Date I agree the cash will have to be returned, I’m vulnerable to only incrible it off instead than fan the flames of a large number. I would like to listen to your standpoint. — GENEROUS IN THE EAST
DEAR GENEROUS: My standpoint is that the place your sister and her daughter are involved, you will have to firmly akin your pockets. The cash is long past, and you’re proper that elevating the problem will reason sick will. Your generosity will have to had been said, and when the marriage used to be referred to as off, your cash will have to had been returned instead than implemented to a mom/daughter peace. In case your niece does lead to get married going forward, remember the fact that you have got already given her a “wedding gift.”
DEAR ABBY: Our crowd is having its first reunion since my parents had been long past. We 3 brothers are actually the oldest day. My used brothers are making plans the development. They’re inviting my ex-wife of 21 years, however none of my 3 nephews’ exes. That is provoking to me and my spouse of two decades.
I believe strongly that whilst you marry, you marry into the crowd, and whilst you judicial separation, you judicial separation “out” of the crowd. My ex-wife and two sisters-in-law have remained akin pals since our judicial separation and feature avoided my provide spouse.
Will have to we be disappointed concerning the invitation? Will have to we now not attend if my ex comes? One brother says she remains to be “part of the family” and will have to be incorporated. My spouse and I are indignant. Who is correct right here? — PARTY POOPER IN IOWA
DEAR PARTY POOPER: Did your oldsters come with your former spouse at earlier crowd reunions? In the event that they did, I will perceive why she could be welcomed at this one. Alternatively, if they didn’t, I will perceive your emotions, in brightness of the truth that your siblings’ better halves have avoided your spouse of two decades.
That stated, now not all divorces are the similar. Some former {couples} lead an amicable severance, and you can’t and will have to now not dictate who your relations select to preserve relationships with. Should you and your spouse would really feel extra relaxed skipping the reunion, I wouldn’t blame you.
Expensive Abby is written by means of Abigail Van Buren, often referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and used to be based by means of her mom, Pauline Phillips. Touch Expensive Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
