If you end up typing “congratulations” beneath a pair’s engagement pictures on social media, it’s possible you’ll wish to suppose once more.
Etiquette professional Alison Cheperdak warns that congratulating lovebirds at the momentous pace is in truth a pretend pas, explaining that it makes engagement really feel like a essential pace fulfillment instead than an operate of real love.
“Saying ‘congratulations’ can imply that the engagement is an achievement,” she informed Jam Press.
“As if one partner ‘won’ the other, rather than a mutual decision to build a life together.”
The Washington, D.C., etiquette professional defined that congratulating the bride might be perceived as being shocked that she has “found love.”
“It can suggest that one person is lucky to have secured the other, which can feel transactional rather than a celebration of mutual love,” she added, highlighting that marriage is “not a task accomplished,” however instead a loyalty to like.
“While getting married is significant, achievements are typically efforts that require skill or accomplishment, like a career milestone or completing a personal goal.”
She instructed pronouncing, “I’m so happy for your both” or “best wishes” instead.
“Express excitement without the connotations of congratulations,” she suggested.
“Congratulations should be reserved for accomplishments such as graduating, landing a new job, or reaching a personal milestone — moments that reflect individual effort and growth — which will look different for different people.”
Cheperdak posted a TikTok sequence at the topic, however gained blended reactions.
“Hey! So this is crazy,” one critic wrote.
“I never in a million years would make the association that ‘Congratulations’ means ‘I didn’t think you’d do it’” declared some other.
“I don’t think it’s that deep,” snarked somebody else.
“Oh geez,” one person wrote mockingly. “You’re a BLAST.”
Some, on the other hand, yes with Cheperdak’s advice.
“Yes! Always taught this. I always say ‘best wishes!’” one individual mentioned.
“Agree! I’m a wedding photographer and I just say ‘Omg how exciting you must be over the moon.’ Something like that,” yes some other.
